


a million little times

by halocline



Series: passed down like folk songs [2]
Category: Dynasty (TV 2017)
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/F, F/M, Folklore, Inspired by Taylor Swift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28390422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halocline/pseuds/halocline
Summary: "and you know, damn well, for you i would ruin myself, a million little times"xpart ii of firby x folklore: illicit affairs
Relationships: Fallon Carrington/Liam Ridley, Kirby Anders & Fallon Carrington, Kirby Anders & Sam "Sammy Jo" Jones, Kirby Anders/Fallon Carrington
Series: passed down like folk songs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971172
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	a million little times

“Table for one?”

Kirby’s head immediately snapped up from looking at her phone absentmindedly. She smiled at the hostess apologetically, tucking the phone into the pocket of her jeans.

“Two, please. My…” she hesitated, biting her lip out of nervousness, “ _ friend _ should be coming soon.”

“Perfect,” the hostess beamed, grabbing two menus without skipping a beat. “Follow me.”

As they made their way through the diner, Kirby couldn’t help going back to checking her phone. Recently, she had made a compulsive habit of repeatedly opening the messages app and searching for new notifications, before closing it just to click on it again. But no new messages had come yet. She frowned in confusion.  _ Today was supposed to be their date night, right _ ? Even though things had been…  _ tense _ for the past few days, they hadn’t missed a date night in months. Today wouldn’t be any different.

“Alright,” the hostess spoke again, pulling the redhead out of her thoughts. “Here’s your table. A waiter will be back to take your order soon.”

With that, Kirby was left alone in the corner booth. She opened her messages app yet again, staring at the set of messages she sent.

To: Fallon  
_We’re on for tonight right?_ __  
_At Gloria’s?_ _  
_ __Fallon?

She’d sent the last message an hour ago, and she’d called countless times after that, but Fallon had been MIA for the entire day, and Kirby couldn’t shake the haunting feeling that something was wrong. After all, Fallon always claimed she needed to be on her phone 24/7 for work, so where was she now?

* * *

**_six months ago_ **

“Why are we at some sketchy hole in the wall diner?” Kirby asked, furrowing her eyebrows as she followed Fallon into the restaurant. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but since her return to Atlanta and her moving back into the Carrington Manor, she had gotten used to a certain level of class that she wasn’t quite feeling at the moment.

“Because,” Fallon turned around, an unfamiliar glint in her eyes, “this is the last place anyone’s gonna look for us.”

A knowing smile spread across the redhead’s face. “So…”

“It’s just us,” the socialite finished the thought for her. “We’ve finally got some time alone. Away from the Manor. Away from the staff. Away from all distractions.”

Despite Fallon’s enticing words, in the corner of Kirby’s mind, a dark thought gnawed at her. She couldn’t forget that Fallon was leaving someone important off that list. There was only one real reason that forced them to sneak around, and that was Liam Ridley.

“Kirb? ” Fallon’s voice startled the redhead out of her thoughts. “Are you okay? You’ve been spaced out for a few moments there.” 

The taller woman then realized that she couldn’t keep wasting precious time with Fallon thinking about Liam, especially with everything Fallon’d told her about him over the past few days: how she didn’t actually love him, how she was staying in it so that Laura didn’t force him to go back to Ashley, and how she was going to leave him as soon as she could. He wasn’t competition, just a slight obstacle.

Pushing her thoughts aside, Kirby reached out for Fallon’s hand, grasping it and weaving their fingers together. Kirby watched as the brunette glanced down at their hands, a small smile spreading across her face. The Australian felt her heart skip a beat when the shorter woman looked back up at her, the corners of her lips tugging upwards.

It was like she was sixteen, her heart flipflopping and her stomach full of butterflies even at the smallest touch. Kirby swore to herself that she could do this with Fallon forever, regardless how they did it. She was fine with gazing at Fallon from across the Manor’s beautiful, elegant ballroom and meeting her eyes secretly, she was okay with sneaking around and telling white lies to cover up the truth, and she was fine with meeting in strange places, trading in the glamor of Carrington Manor for the Target parking lot. If she could be with Fallon and feel this high and giddy all the time, she didn’t care about anything else.

But just as quickly the moment began, it ended. When Fallon noticed a host coming over to seat them, she immediately wriggled her hand out of Kirby’s grasp, grabbing a menu and feigning interest in the pancakes and french toast on the cover. The gnawing feeling began to return, and Kirby frowned to herself, stuffing her hands into her jacket pockets to keep them from shaking.

“Hi, welcome to Gloria’s,” the host greeted, a picture-perfect smile on his face that Kirby barely managed to mirror. “Table for two?”

* * *

After about five minutes of waiting, Kirby couldn’t take it anymore. She’d already tried calling Fallon twice, two attempts that were both sent to voicemail, so she figured that was still nonviable. So she called up Allison, who was bound to know where Fallon was.

“Femperial Publishing, Allison speaking,” she answered.

“Allison, hi. It’s Kirby, Kirby Anders. I was just wondering if you knew where Fallon was right now. We had dinner plans,” Kirby hesitated before correcting herself. “Well, sort of plans. And I just wanted to know if maybe she was running late from the office or something?”

“As far as I know, Fallon left hours ago. Don’t know where she went, though,” she replied nonchalantly, seeming to not have picked up on the alarm in Kirby’s voice. “She took a half day, was gone after lunch.”

“And she’s still making you stay?” the redhead lifted her eyebrows in slight amusement despite the fact that Allison couldn’t see her.

“Hey, at least she’s paying me overtime,” the assistant remarked, “not sure if that’s the same case for you.”

Kirby sighed, running a hand through her hair before starting to twirl a loose strand around her finger. “I wish I was getting paid for this,” she muttered. “But that’s a story for another time. Thanks for the help, Allison.”

“Anytime,” Allison paused, before tacking on a final comment. “Good luck, Kirby.”

The line clicked off, and Kirby was left alone in silence yet again. The pit in her stomach continued to grow, so she grabbed a menu, deciding that she’d better order something to pass the time.

* * *

**_four months ago_ **

“Where are you going?”

Kirby immediately froze, cursing her luck. Of course she would get caught just as she was about to leave the Manor. Slowly and carefully, she turned around to face the voice behind her, praying that it wasn’t Blake or worse, her father. Once she noticed that the figure was wearing a cheetah print top, she relaxed, pulling her hood down and letting her defining red hair tumble over her shoulders.

“Sam! Jesus fuck! You scared the shit out of me,” Kirby grumbled.

“Well, you scared the shit out of me! Why the fuck are you sneaking around like that? With your hood up and everything?”

“No reason, I was just going out for a run,” the Australian lied smoothly, which was expected considering how much time she had spent practicing this exact sentence in front of the mirror.

“You’re an awful liar, Anders.”

Okay, so she hadn’t lied that smoothly.

“But if you’re not going for a run…” Sam considered, “where are you going?”

“None of your business,” Kirby retorted.

“Well,” Sam reached out for her purse, another one of the indications that the running excuse was obviously a lie, digging through and picking out a bottle of perfume. “You might wanna leave the Chanel No 5 at home. Hm, how basic. And a bit outdated.”

_ Fallon’s basic _ , she wanted to say, but she held her tongue.

“Fancy people perfume, a new lipstick, a compact, your ‘I-wanna-marry-rich’ wallet,” he observed, nodding his head slowly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were heading out to a date.”

“Well, I’m not.”

“I know,” the shorter man chuckled to himself. “You haven’t been on a date since you and that weird cult guy broke up.”

“His name’s  _ Joel _ .”

The redhead thought back to the day she escaped from the cult. She thought about the way Fallon had looked at her when she had thought that she was going to Sri Lanka and the way that Fallon had hugged her, as if she didn’t want to let her go. Kirby thought back to how she felt when Fallon had left—how, like a magnet, she was immediately drawn to follow Fallon back to Atlanta. To follow her back home.

To Kirby, it was no surprise that, shortly after her “rescuing,” what had started out as biweekly brunches at  _ La Mirage  _ and the occasional lunch date turned into something more, an inkling of a relationship that had lasted for months now and had somehow overtaken her entire life. At first, Kirby had told herself that it was nothing more than a fling, that she could still date other people, and that Fallon was nothing more than a temporary interest. But she soon realized that there was no room for dating anyone else now that Fallon occupied her mind 24/7. Being with Fallon was like living in technicolor, while seeing anyone else was monochrome. There was simply no comparison to be made.

“Joel-shmoel,” Sam waved it off, snapping Kirby out of her thoughts. “I couldn’t care less about that creep.”

“Me neither. So don’t worry about me, either. I’ll go where I go, okay?” Kirby moved to open the door, knowing that she was running late and that Fallon would strangle her if she showed up even a minute past their scheduled time.

“Wait, do you still need your bag?” Sam asked, holding it towards her.

Not wanting to waste any more time, Kirby shook her head, deciding that the prospect of an extra coat of lipstick or a light spritz of Chanel No 5 wasn’t worth it. It was probably best to be untraceable, after all. Without another word, she shoved the door open and walked out, dreading the fact that she’d need to come up with a better excuse for when she came back.

* * *

Kirby heard the waiters before she could see them. They were whispering under their breaths, but their constant giggles kept them from being subtle.

“God, she’s been here for twenty minutes now,” a male voice remarked. “I wonder how much longer she’s going to last.”

“I’m giving her till 7:00,” a female voice replied. “Carl and I have a pool going on. Wanna join?”

“Man, how long is he giving her?”

“Like five more minutes max. But I don’t know, you’d have to be pretty… unbothered to have already sat here for twenty minutes all alone.”

Shutting her eyes and tightening her hands into fists, the Australian took in a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm herself. She felt her cheeks heating up, and she cursed Fallon for putting her in such a position, where two random waiters were making fun of her for waiting alone like a naive fool. Quickly taking another look around, she realized that the waiters had already walked past her, and she was out of sight, so she decided that now would be the best time to slip out unnoticed.

After she stood, Kirby turned to look at the empty booth she was leaving behind. With a sigh, she pulled out her wallet, threw a few dollar bills onto the table, and left the restaurant wordlessly.

* * *

**_two weeks ago_ **

“You’re awfully quiet,” Fallon noted.

Kirby nodded, unsure of what to say. She kept her eyes trained at the ceiling, even though she saw in her peripheral vision that Fallon had shifted to face her completely. They had been laying together on Kirby’s bed in her shitty studio apartment for several minutes now, an awkward, tense silence hanging over them like a storm cloud. A hurricane of thoughts was brewing up in Kirby’s mind, which made her wonder what Fallon was thinking about.

“Was the sex… bad?” the socialite tried again. At that, Kirby turned her head slightly, raising her eyebrows. The frown on Fallon’s face told her what Kirby already knew: the brunette had never even considered that she could be bad in bed. The Australian would’ve found that hilarious if she was in any other situation.

“No,” she half-lied. It wasn’t that the sex was bad, per se, but something was off. The bliss that she normally felt with Fallon was fading away. Deep down, Kirby knew exactly what was bothering her, but she wasn’t quite sure how to tell Fallon, or if she should even speak up about it in the first place.

“Then what’s wrong?” Fallon furrowed her eyebrows, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of the redhead’s hair behind her ear. Kirby felt her heart involuntarily skip a beat at the touch. “Talk to me, Kirb. Please. You’re not exactly the quiet brooding type.”

The Australian sighed, realizing that Fallon knew her all too well. She knew all the subtle cues to get Kirby to do her bidding. Use the nickname she gave her, look at her with her infamous doe eyes, touch her gently, and add some lighthearted snarky remark at the end. With that, she was nothing more than putty in Fallon’s hands, waiting readily to be sculpted into whatever she wanted.

“I just…” Kirby paused, thinking of a sufficient lie. “It’s getting late. Don’t you think you should head home now?”

“What? Do you want me to leave?”

_ Yes _ , the rational half of Kirby’s mind thought. Having Fallon around was too much right now, especially when all she was thinking about was how she still was living with Liam and dating him. It had ruined the sex, it was going to ruin the rest of her night, and she didn’t need Fallon to see her like this.

“No,” Kirby’s words betrayed her, letting her fall into her third lie in a row. “But I just know that you may be needed… elsewhere.”

“Well, lucky for you, Liam knows I’m out with you and that I may have to spend the night,” Fallon smiled slyly, unaware of the pit that was forming in the redhead’s stomach. “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

Kirby nodded stiffly, doing her best to mirror Fallon’s smile and her enthusiasm. She let Fallon move closer to her, staying silent as the brunette pressed her lips to hers and rested her head on her chest.

“I could stay like this forever,” Fallon observed.

Kirby hummed in response, not trusting herself to speak. After all, an omission of the truth was better than another lie.

* * *

**_three days ago_ **

“I can’t believe this,” Fallon sighed, massaging her forehead with two fingers as she often did when frustrated. Now, instead of finding it endearing, Kirby found it enraging.

“What, are you surprised that I’m mad?” the Australian challenged, straightening up so that she had some height advantage over Fallon despite her six-inch heels. “All you do is string me along. How many times have you told me that you’re going to leave Liam? And when will you actually leave him?”

“Kirby…”

For a moment, the brunette almost looked apologetic, a sad look in her eyes that Kirby rarely saw. The taller woman started to feel bad, at least until… 

“It’s complicated,” the socialite continued. “I’m sorry, but you just wouldn’t get it.”

Suddenly, all of Kirby’s rage was back. She laughed humorously, an empty laugh that left a ringing in her ears. “Could you be any more condescending? I’m not a  _ kid _ , Fallon. Stop treating me like one.”

“Maybe if you didn’t throw temper tantrums like this, I’d treat you differently. This just proves that you’ll never see my point of view. It’d be nice if you’d even try to sympathize.”

“Try?” the redhead listened to her voice as she spoke, hearing her Australian accent worsen, as it often did when she got angry. She was toeing the line between speaking and screaming, trying to keep her uncontrolled emotions from getting the best of her. “What do you think I’ve been doing for the greater part of the last year? I’m trying to understand, analyzing each word you tell me about him and trying to make sense of it all. I’m cancelling plans to spend time with you last-minute, ruining friendships and relationships with everyone else around me. Do you know what it feels like when you cancel on me? It hurts, but it hurts even more knowing that I’d do it again. I’d do it all over if it means I’d even get a  _ chance _ to spend time with you. And now, every day, I learn time and time again that you wouldn’t make these sacrifices to me, or any sacrifice at all. So forgive me if I’ve run out of sympathy.”

“I… I didn’t know you felt that way,” the brunette mumbled, looking down and refusing to meet Kirby’s eyes.

“Well I do. Even before we were dating, my needs came second to yours in everything we’ve ever done. It was stupid of me to think you could change.”

“But I can, Kirb. I promise. I’ll do anything.”

“Will you leave him?”

Fallon gulped, noticeably nervous. “I can’t do that yet, you know that. You remember what happened when Liam and I broke up the first time. My investors will get all skittish again, calling me unstable and irresponsible and childish. I need him for business.”

“Well,” the redhead replied, eerily calm in the aftermath of her initial wave of anger. “I’m not going to keep coming in second place to your ‘business,’ Fallon. Call me when you’re ready to put me first.”

* * *

Kirby stood outside Carrington Manor, unsure of why she was there. After all, she had moved out a month ago, and Fallon hated going to the Manor. There was no reason to think that she’d be here, and honestly, there wasn’t really a reason for Kirby to continue going on this wild goose chase looking for her. What she had said three days ago still rang true: Fallon was never going to put her first. Even though the socialite apologized profusely the morning after and showered Kirby with her favorite flowers and chocolates, it didn’t make up for how she’d never see Kirby as a true equal. But here Kirby was, always playing the fool, going into the Manor to ask Blake and Sam if they’d seen Fallon.

When she pushed open the door and entered the foyer, she was greeted with an unpleasant surprise. Liam, Fallon, Sam, Blake, and Cristal were all there, smiling and chatting amongst themselves. No one seemed to notice Kirby’s arrival.

The redhead cleared her throat as she walked up to them, and suddenly everyone’s eyes were on her. She immediately clammed up under the attention, wishing that she’d just gone home and called it a night.

“What’d I miss?” she asked, trying to keep the tremble out of her voice

“Fallon and I have some big news,” Liam said, a stupid smile on his face as he looked at the brunette in beside him. However, Fallon looked distant, and her happy demeanor had fallen as soon as Kirby had entered the room. Liam lowered his voice, but Kirby still heard him as he whispered to Fallon. “Don’t you wanna tell her?”

The silence was deafening.

“They’re engaged!” Sam blurted out, a giant grin on his face. He picked up the socialite’s hand, showing the dazzling, expensive ring on her finger. At Fallon’s glare, he dropped her wrist. “Sorry, I was just so excited. And you were, too, like five minutes ago, remember?”

Fallon nodded stiffly.

“We’re just here to tell Blake and Cristal, and celebrate for the night,” Liam remarked, pulling Fallon closer to him and kissing her on the cheek. “Though the real celebration will be our engagement party, next Friday. Mark it in your calendar, Kirby.”

Kirby tried to refrain from puking at Liam’s words. She mustered a smile. “Well, congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys,” she paused, looking around for an excuse to leave. “But unfortunately I can’t celebrate with you right now. I was just stopping by to see if my dad was here, but he’s not and I have an early morning tomorrow. But congrats! Again.”

“Thanks!” Liam replied, blissfully unaware of the storm of emotions swirling in Kirby’s mind.

Without another word, the Australian turned around, holding back the tears prickling at her eyes as she opened the door and walked towards her car. Just as she was about to get in, a hand on her shoulder forced her to turn around.

Fallon was crying, and her voice came out breathy, as if she was hyperventilating. “Kirby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he was going to do this. I couldn’t say no. Please, forgive me, baby, I’m sor-”

“No,” Kirby said firmly, standing her ground and keeping the tears from falling. “Don’t call me that. Actually, you know what? Don't call me anything. Don't talk to me. I’ve forgiven you for a lot of shit, Fallon, but this is too much.”

“Please don’t go,” Fallon begged.

It was strange for Kirby to see the brunette in such a position of weakness, where she was at the point of begging. The aloof demeanor and perfect togetherness of Fallon’s character was falling apart in front of her, but she felt no sympathy. If only Fallon knew about the millions of times Kirby’d cried over her, the thousands of times Kirby had broken down over her, become a complete mess, reduced to a shell of her former self. But she didn’t, and if she did, she wouldn’t have cared anyway.

“Goodbye, Fallon,” the redhead mumbled, a sense of finality in her voice. She shook her head slightly, turning around, getting into her car, and driving off. “Goodbye forever.”


End file.
